first, let me apologize for this one being lengthy…sorry about that…
i think the toughest thing in the life is knowing you’ve been betrayed by someone who you thought was on your side…life can sometimes throw some hard blows…
if i’ve learned anything, i’ve realized i have a choice to make in every trial… you see, when someone betrays you, whether knowingly or claim ignorance… no matter what, i can make excuses and deceive myself into thinking they didn’t mean to do it, i’ll always end up in the same place…and the place is…”CHOICE”…which will i choose? will i choose to ignore what they’ve done (like i have many times before)wondering if they were really deliberate thoughts of betrayal (while claiming total ignorance to what they’ve done)?
i’ve been around this mountain so many times, but this time it was like “BAM” my eyes were opened and now i’m beginning to see there is a difference between giving grace and putting myself in the same position over and over again.
let me say this, although it saddens me, i’m learning some great lessons (finally) through it all..i’ve realized God surely wants us to forgive and not keep offenses toward others, and i’ve tried to live that as best i can. but i’ve also failed many times.
i’m finding i’m struggling with allowing others to walk all over me…(wow, i said it)! yep, i’ve been an enabler to some who i’ve given an open door to keep wiping their feet, as if i were their doormat…so the truth is, i can’t blame them, it’s my fault, and mine alone…
so, now the dilemma…will i continue to allow this? what do i do? i have had many discussions (with God) about my failures and begged for his help…now i’m realizing, His help has always been there, but i’ve been in the way…you see, He sometimes wants us to draw boundaries (which i always found hard to do, mistaking it for loving kindness)…this particular matter is indeed a place for drawing boundaries…so now,i have to suck it up, put on my big girl panties and grow up…it’s time for me to step it up and draw the lines…
why am i writing this? well, to be honest, i’m hoping it will help someone else see it’s “ok” to not be a doormat…it’s “ok” to stand up and say, “enough is enough”…just because you love people (family or friends) it doesn’t mean you have to do everything they say…and yes, it’s OK to say NO….it’s OK to disagree or have an opposing opinion…it’s OK TO BE YOU!!!!
i don’t want to talk anymore here, or go way off the beam and drag this on…so i will leave it here and give you something to think about for a while and maybe i’ll get back to it….
in the meantime, my prayer for you is this…i pray God strengthens you to see inside yourself, and recognize if you’re one (like me) who needs to stand up for yourself…i pray He gives you strength to stand against enabling others at your expense…i pray He fills you with so much love that you can choose to see his goodness in others ( and yourself) but not let it be distorted deceiving you into thinking you always have to keep everyone else happy (at your expense)…
the truth is you can’t make everyone happy…you just can’t, it’s not meant for you to do that…that’s God’s job…you just have to do your best and be YOU, the YOU you were created to be…WARNING: not everyone will like you, but that’s OK!..remember you were made in His image and HE loves you more than any person alive…that’s the truth…
so, for now, choose to see the good stuff in others, but don’t let that make you think you have to agree with everything they do, or… keep them happy all the time…your job is to love, not enable, not coddle, not make excuses for their actions, just love…and sometimes choosing to love and see the good stuff means doing it from a distance…
the choice is always yours (ours)… 😉
Selah Vita 
April 13, 2015 at 8:48 am
Ahhh, life’s lessons. Good post Friend! I was just thinking of similar things the other day with me……though mine be slightly different, I realized I tend to “wear” my hurt and then others continue to treat me the same —– I need a change of clothes – LOL
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April 13, 2015 at 9:49 am
i’m thankful we’re learning lol…God knows we need change, so glad He helps us through it all, lol…i’m still a work in progress…i’m believing we’ll both make it through with good results 😉
thanks dear friend 😉
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April 16, 2015 at 1:55 am
Selah – your comment prompted me to come back here (and then notice the “follow” had disappeared at my end – now rectified. WP gremlin or me – haven’t a clue).
But reading your words reminded me of something at work years ago. It was a meeting between “my company” and a client. A large client who owed “my company” at ton of cash. My boss and I attended their premises. The meeting wasn’t going well. And I was uncomfortable, but as one did – one tried and tried again – seeing of one could reach agreement … when all of a sudden my boss stood up and simply said (something like): “Well there is no more to talk about then” and headed for the door. I remember still staying seated – horrified! How rude, we had been invited to their premises, we both had to agree “nicely” the meeting had ended before we all left together … And then realised that my boss was not waiting for me and I would be left there looking very silly – so scrambled to my feet and with an embarrassed “goodbye” followed him out.
He had no emotional turmoil They were wasting our time, they were not intending to agree to any sensible solution, there was no point in giving them the satisfaction of giving us the run around. So he left. As I should have recognised. Because whilst it was a work scenario – my response was a “Paul response”. Your post brought back that memory – I think because that meeting changed me a little. Showed me that giving time is still giving something precious. And I am precious as well.
Sorry for the long comment and taking “your precious time” 🙂
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April 16, 2015 at 9:35 pm
hi paul! thanks for the reply, and please note, no reply is EVER too long…i love replies and take them to heart…if one chooses to speak, of course i shall listen and listen carefully, isn’t that what we’ve been created for? like my dad always said, we two ears and one mouth, which means we should listen two times more than we speak!! silly huh? but rings in me all the time…so Please, don’t Ever hesitate to comment…and comment away!! lol…thanks paul(ie) it’s been my pleasure to know you, and hopefully stay connected …(i haven’t been on much lately, long story, too much for WP to talk about, but i try my best to connect whenever possible!) GBY brother!
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April 17, 2015 at 2:23 am
((hug))
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